There are some spelling mistakes and odd sentence structure that pulled me out of the story sometimes. I thought the movement of the sprites was good and added to the story. The writing could have been a bit tighter, like why did we have the scene were Terry told Bernard to get out of the bathroom, I might just be fully missing something there but it felt like a random side note that didn't add to the story or really make me understand their relationship any better.
I appreciate that you took the time to add the game embedded into the page. I'd suggest either ticking the ability to make it full screen when you start the game in the browser or ticking the option for a full screen button within itch.io's page options, as it's quite a small embed screen to see everything.
Hope this doesn't come across as too harsh or anything, I certainly don't know all that much about visual novels yet! Regardless you should be proud to have made a game in only a month or less.
Hmm I have asked someone to quickly run through it and with some 20+ mistakes it should be at least fixed now with the spelling mistake a lot more. Still seeing that you liked it is neat!
The story is perhaps a bit messy, but the month was not the easiest for me in personal situation. It's not an excuse. I could have gone better, but still hope you enjoyed it enough!
It's a solid game and I did still like it! Be proud of yourself for making a game, like I said, especially if it was a hard personal month. I'm sorry if the fact that I still value the game didn't come across, I wanted to provide helpful feedback as I know I was finding that really helpful on my own games reviews. I hope you continue to create in the future.
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There are some spelling mistakes and odd sentence structure that pulled me out of the story sometimes. I thought the movement of the sprites was good and added to the story. The writing could have been a bit tighter, like why did we have the scene were Terry told Bernard to get out of the bathroom, I might just be fully missing something there but it felt like a random side note that didn't add to the story or really make me understand their relationship any better.
I appreciate that you took the time to add the game embedded into the page. I'd suggest either ticking the ability to make it full screen when you start the game in the browser or ticking the option for a full screen button within itch.io's page options, as it's quite a small embed screen to see everything.
Hope this doesn't come across as too harsh or anything, I certainly don't know all that much about visual novels yet! Regardless you should be proud to have made a game in only a month or less.
Hmm I have asked someone to quickly run through it and with some 20+ mistakes it should be at least fixed now with the spelling mistake a lot more.
Still seeing that you liked it is neat!
The story is perhaps a bit messy, but the month was not the easiest for me in personal situation. It's not an excuse. I could have gone better, but still hope you enjoyed it enough!
It's a solid game and I did still like it! Be proud of yourself for making a game, like I said, especially if it was a hard personal month. I'm sorry if the fact that I still value the game didn't come across, I wanted to provide helpful feedback as I know I was finding that really helpful on my own games reviews. I hope you continue to create in the future.